I no longer want to yell at myself every time I fail.
I no longer want my calorie intake to define my mood.
I don't wan this...
Everyday I wake up and try to remind my self to stay under 500 calories.
I want to change the purpose to remind myself that there's a less painful way. Though its true nothing worth it comes easy.
Everyday there are two arguments in my head.
Will I do it the "healthy" way or will I restrict... '
All this time i have been seeing this the wrong way. Fighting away the thoughts of freedom from this thing. This monster that determines my life, my mood, depending on whether I ate or didn't eat.
I'm going to fight the disorder thoughts and let the thoughts of being healthy in.
So this is my journey to get healthy.
Fuck all this messed up shit. I;m tired of it all.
Eating healthy is more difficult than restricting. But i believe you can do it if you try hard.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! <3
Those arguments will always be there, but you can prove that to yourself that your worth as a human being is not determined by the number on that scale. You are worth so much more than that my love, you've just got to believe <3
ReplyDelete