Ok this was a fun post to type.

I feel desperate.

Desperate to type.

Desperate to let it all out.

Its been a tough  few days  week.

I had my promotion ceremony= last minute dress and shoes and accessory shopping.
I had my end of the year 8th grade trip to a (semi local) amusement park.

I had an amazing time but iI need to contact my friend to see if she want to go to the gym with me.

its currently 2 am and i refuse to sleep, I wonder if i can stay up until 5 am?

        I was thinking the other day about a small crush I had last year.
I hate talking about/having crushes their such "young school girl" thing to have and I always imagine the caricatures of young big-eyed girls with hearts sprouting out their head. So I always feel very foolish.

     So picture this (and have a good laugh of how cliché it is)....

Once upon a day a young girl (me)was sitting in her room talking to her friend about her first day at a new school. She had every right to be nervous. It was a scary transition going from a class academically gifted prodigies to a school well known for it fights(think of it as new gifted program vs old ghetto school). She went to sleep at last and wondered what  awaited for her the next day.


    It was sunny bright day (i don't actually remember the weather) and the young girl headed out the door. She wore a purple v-neck, a black sweater and her favourite  pair of jeans(and the worlds worst frizzy hair cut). The school day went by quickly she slowly began to find out how the school worked. She hung out with a girl she knew. The rest of the days went by fast until the third day. 


   That's when she saw him (cue cheesy romance music) he was a year older and the teacher's aid. She took every opportunity to get his attention and look away she befriended a girl to get close to him (I'm such a user lol). She found out his hobbies, his address ( stalker much? In my defence he told me what street he lived I just saw his family car parked in front of the house). 


      One sad horrible day she discovered he liked some fake blonde hoe bag. (sad part was she was actually pretty) He shared the details with her and broke her sad little tween heart. (lol) 


     So she started to resent him for not liking her back. Time went by and she began to move on and he moved on. 


Oh my I was such a stalker I knew what classes he had and where he lived, where he hung out. That was a year ago (I've changed). I haven't seen him around in such a long time but I secretly hope he still in this town so i can be a creep and watch him from afar and one day work up the courage to pretend that I "had" a crush a crush on him and no longer do...even though I still do. (this was during my creepy long hair too much eye-liner phase).

I saw all the signs that weren't there
the non-existent stares

Then again i do pretty much have great hair great make up and rather healthy skin (as im told by a friend who we will call C).but my body is nothing to envy.

I got some clothes that my Mom sent to me she is currently away because of work. A hand made skirt and an expensive dress. The skirt fit but the dress is 3sizes too small.

Someone spent their time and money on some thing that will sit on a rack in my closet until I can ware it and look good.

sorry if the grammar quality and spelling suck its 3 am fuck spell check

love you guys
stay strong